Wellbeing

Wellbeing
by James Tighe

Happiness, wellbeing, contentment, harmony, enjoyment and peace don't all mean the same thing, but they all suggest self-esteem and a positive outlook on life.
Secrets of everyday wellbeing
Someone once said the secret of happiness is having someone to love, something to do and something to look forward to. There's probably some truth in this, although it doesn't mean you have to have an adoring spouse or partner, a high-powered job and a world cruise coming up to enjoy life.
The 'someone to love' could be a friend, relative or pet, and the 'something to do' and 'something to look forward to' could be just about anything you enjoy.
But even if you have those three 'somethings', there may be times when you don't feel very happy. Our mood can be affected by all sorts of things, including lifestyle, past experiences and genetic factors.
Scientists think that people who always seem to be in a good mood may simply have naturally higher levels of certain substances - endorphins (types of hormone) and the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin.
These are released by the brain and make us feel good when we're enjoying ourselves or when something pleasant happens.
Our state of mind is only partly influenced by the past or by physical factors. The rest is down to us - the way we think about things and how we manage different aspects of our lives. Most of us have much more influence over our feelings than we may think.
We can't always avoid negative thoughts, but one of the secrets of mental balance is being able to notice when you're 'choosing' or 'allowing yourself' to think negatively rather than positively, and keeping an eye on the way your lifestyle affects your mood.
Feel-good factors:
• Relaxation
• The ability to express your feelings
• Aiming for achievable goals
• Time for the things you enjoy
• A healthy diet
• A sport or exercise you enjoy
• Work you find rewarding
• A comfortable balance between work and leisure
• Time to yourself, to do the things that interest you
• time for friends and family


Things to minimize:
• Too much stress
• Feelings of rage or frustration
• Expecting too much of yourself
• Negative thoughts and feelings


There's no instant recipe for a sense of wellbeing - but these are some of the main ingredients.
Self-esteem
One important ingredient in wellbeing is self-esteem. Definitions vary, but all agree that high self-esteem means we appreciate ourselves and our own worth. More specifically, this means we have a positive attitude, are confident of our abilities and see ourselves as competent and in control of our lives.
Low self-esteem can mean we feel helpless, powerless and even depressed.
Our self-esteem has huge implications for our life paths: our history of self-esteem begins as children and continues throughout our lives, affecting all our decisions.
Rejections, disappointments and failure are part of life and even our best efforts aren't always successful, but high self-esteem can help us get through the bad patches.

How to Control Your Worries

How to Control Your Worries
by Tamas Gloetzer

Do you find yourself worrying all of the time? Do friends and
family consider you a worrier? Chronic worry is a form of
anxiety, and although everybody worries at one time or another,
worry can become problematic when it becomes uncontrollable over
an extended period of time. If you find that your worrying is
interfering with your life, below are some steps to help you to
regain control over your worry.

1. Identify your top worries.

Common topics of people's worry are
finances, timeliness, and health and well-being.

2. Figure out what you can reasonably do (if anything) to resolve
the sources of your worry.

For example, if you're worrying that
you might have bounced a check, go balance your checkbook. If
you're worried that you might not finish that English paper in
time, make a timeline for yourself and get started immediately.
If you're worried that you'll be late, promise yourself to leave
10 minutes earlier than usual (and follow through!).

3. Admit that worrying doesn't solve problems.

Once you've done what you can to resolve your worries, it is highly likely that
you will still have remaining worries. Worry is like using a
crutch even though you are strong enough to walk without it. At
this point, if you've followed instruction #2, there is nothing
more that can be done productively. Your job now is to recognize
and admit that worrying does NOT solve problems. It does not
prevent problems or help you to prepare. That was the purpose of
#2! The bottom line is that you need to convince yourself that
there is no purpose for worrying. In fact, worrying causes you to
feel worse, tiring you out or taking up time that could be spent
doing something that is productive.

4. Identify a time and a place where you can engage in scheduled
worrying.

As most people find it difficult to just stop worrying,
it is sometimes comforting to allow yourself some time to worry.
The trick is to limit the worry to a specific time frame and
specific place. For example, set aside 20 minutes in the morning
when you sit on a particular couch to worry. Then, set aside your
worries and go about your day. If needed, you could also set
aside another 20-minute worry period at the end of the day. As a
side note: while it may be tempting, do not choose your bed as a
place to worry, as you want to leave your bed as a place for
comfort and relaxation.

5. Repeat the above steps every day.

Practice will help to make you more efficient in identifying your worries and figuring out how to resolve them. Practice will also make it more likely that
you develop skills to control your worry, as you will first learn
to move your worry into scheduled periods and then eventually,
you may learn how to shorten your worry periods. Ultimately, you
should aim to feel satisfied with your resolutions to situations
(#2 above) and not feel that you must rely on worrying. Many
people often are pleasantly surprised to find that they do not
need to worry!

If you are having difficulty following the above steps and
continue to feel worried all of the time, you should consider
seeking help from a mental health professional or your physician.
Heshe can help you to take steps to control your worry.